Standards and Grudges

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I’m a bit of a night owl, in part because of my job as a bouncer and also because there’s less people around at night and I don’t like people (or at least crowds of people). I’m not kidding either. I really don’t like people. If I’m at the mall, I feel like I’m being suffocated and the next person that annoys me is going to find my fist down their throat. But I’m probably a night owl mostly due to a mild case of insomnia.

Thankfully, there are some things to enjoy in the wee hours of the night. [adult swim] on Cartoon Network is one of them. I don’t always agree with their programming choices. Some shows like The Oblongs and S-cry-ed are stupid and not entertaining, but you can’t please everyone all the time. I’ll take a few misses now and them for the great hits like Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Robot Chicken.

But alas, [adult swim] has jumped the shark. Saved By The Bell is now on Cartoon network right after Family Guy. When I first heard they were putting Saved By The Bell on during [adult swim] I wondered how they would pervert it. Would they to do something like Mystery Science Theater or Pop-Up Video? No such luck. They’re playing Saved By The Bell episodes completely unmolested. How in the hell is that supposed to entertain me? If I wanted to watch Saved By The Bell, I’d get a TiVo and record the 2 hours of episodes every morning on TBS (The Boring Station). I actually knew Saved By The Bell was on TBS every morning starting at 6am. That’s usually when I go to bed because that’s the magic hour when there’s nothing worth watching on TV and by that time I’ve been all over the internet, so if I’m going to do nothing, I might as well do nothing in bed.

I’ve looked into why Saved By The Bell is on Cartoon Network and I’m not happy with what I’ve found. It seems simple to assume that a network called Cartoon Network would play only animation, but some corporate stooges want to add live action. Saved By The Bell is just the beginning. In case you didn’t know, Cartoon Network is owned by Turner Broadcasting, which also owns TBS. Apparently Turner Broadcasting is flexing its muscle and is forcing [adult swim] to add shows like Saved By The Bell, probably because some limited test group of [adult swim] fans liked that stupid show.

I’ve sent a complaint to Williams Street, which is the division of Cartoon Network that produces [adult swim], but I doubt it will do much good. If Turner Broadcasting really is getting more involved with the programming choices, Williams Street Studio won’t be able to do much about it.

As Bud Macintosh once said, “Think globally, but act locally”. I’m boycotting Cartoon Network until Saved By The Bell is removed from [adult swim]. I’d be even more happy if that show was completely removed from the air and all copies of the episodes were destroyed, but I’ll allow it to exist so long as it never invades my world again.

I already didn’t like Ted Turner. I didn’t need another reason to hate him. Speaking of Ted Turner, one of the funniest things you’ll ever see on Cartoon Network (a network Ted Turner owns I remind you) is the episode of Family Guy when Peter plays poker with Louis’ father and they make fun of Ted Turner.