Enter The Internet!

This site is hilarious. It works best with Internet Explorer. You’ll also have to disable the popup blocker to see everything.

Good luck.

I bet you think you look cool wearing that bluetooth headset all the time, don’t you?

You pity everyone around you without one. You know they wish they were cool enough to wear a bluetooth headset all the time.

You’re the coolest kid on the block. Bluetooth headsets are the greatest things since sliced bread. You know simply wearing that headset makes you desirable and others envy how suave you are.

Oh wait…

You look completely stupid walking around wearing that thing in your ear. Is there some pressing need for you to need both hands at the moment? Are you sitting at a desk typing? Are you part of an undercover urban assault team with a really cool name like “Alpha Squad”?

You won’t think it’s cool when they find that brain tumor.

I’ve been trying to verify the claim made by Jane Kinney that gunshots were fired into her flower store formally at 113 King Street, next to the Majestic Theater. I can’t find the report. I’ve tried many different search strings on LexisNexis and found nothing. I then searched through the archives at Madison.com, still nothing. I even checked the Madison Police Department press release search. I searched all the way back to 2001 for reports involving King St. Two incidents showed up, neither of which mentioned a gun, much less property damage.

I’ve asked around. No one remembers gunshots being fired at the flower shop. Did she make that up? If she’s going to claim that the club patrons carry weapons and have damaged her property with gunshots, shouldn’t there be a burden of proof? Shouldn’t the Wisconsin State Journal follow up with that since they printed her statement?

I did find one thing of interest though. When searching through the Madison.com archives I found an article about Kinney moving her flower store to Monroe St.

After more than 20 years in business Downtown, J. Kinney Florist will move to Monroe Street in August.

The neighborhood has turned into more of an entertainment district, store owner Jane Kinney said. “I just felt it would be better to be in an environment with other retailers.”

At 113 King St., the floral shop was next to Club Majestic and down the block from Madison’s Dining and Diversions. Across the street are King Club and Opus Lounge. All are nightclubs. “They’re open at night and we’re, of course, open during the day,” Kinney said. “There’s no reciprocal business. A big part of retail is the other businesses around you.”

J. Kinney Florist will nearly double its retail space when it takes over the storefront formerly occupied by the Life is Good store at 1835 Monroe St.

So did she move because he wanted to be near other retail businesses, or was it because of an unverified gun incident? It appears more believable that she moved to be near other retailers. That makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is her claim about gunshots into her store that can’t be verified by searching the news media archives or the police press releases.

The debate over King Street rages on. On Wednesday, Susan Lampert Smith used her column in the Wisconsin State Journal to discuss the race portion of the King Street situation, and a reader responded:

Wisconsin State Journal, Friday February 24, 2006 Opinion, Page A8, Your Views

Just try doing business on King Street

Having spent the last 23 years of my business life on King Street, and having moved from my residence a few blocks away on Hancock Street, I think Susan Lampert Smith has misread the Club Majestic Situation.

Have you ever been there around 2 a.m. on “all you can drink for $12″ night? It’s not just hip hop night, although that is pretty intense. There are two or three cops cars around, and people wandering all over the street. It’s like a different place.

I’ve had the cops call me at 3 a.m. when my windows were shattered. I’ve had gunshots through my front door. Regarding the comparison to students on State Street, most college students tend to drink and puke; I don’t think many of them are packing. I finally got tired of trying to a 300-pound gorilla, thought that’s not what I told the press because I don’t want to poison the pond for everyone else.

Until you get your suburban self down there at 2 a.m., on hip hop night preferably but any weekend night will do - but not during “Late Nite Catechism” - I don’t think you should offer your opinion of what should happen on King Street.

Jane M. Kinney

Why use the truth when lies will do? The Club Majestic stopped offering the “all you can drink” promotion a long time ago, in an effort to address concerns. Nick Schiavo did that not because he was told to, he did this on his own. He is more than willing to respond to neighborhood concerns, but he doesn’t wait for those concerns to be expressed. He is constantly working to find effective means to control the situation, but he can only work to manage real problems, not the prejudice and perceptions of others.

But he has tried to at least address the perceptions of others. Many question why it is necessary to have metal detectors at the entrance of the club. The racist perceptions of Jane Kinney and many others are one of the reasons. Just because someone is black and listens to hip hop does not mean they carry a gun. I know for a fact that on any night no one entering or exiting the club has a gun, knife or even a chemical spray. I know this because patrons are checked for these items.

I hate the fact that I’m throwing up the race card. I think the race card is overplayed and when there is a real race problem, people don’t listen. Just like the boy who cried wolf. But much of the debate over King Street is a race issue.

The comparison of King Street to State Street is absolutely fitting. At the end of the night, people on King Street flood the street and sidewalks, which is no different than Frances Street as legions of drunken college students slowly meander towards Ian’s Pizza, the parking ramps or their dorms. Sometimes a few people do something stupid, but rarely is it damaging or violent. The situation on King Street is nearly the same. People stand outside on the sidewalk, socialize, wait for their ride to pull the car up and eventually go home. Sometimes there is a police presence. Much of the time there is not. When the police are in the area, they often use their squad cars to block the road so no one can drive though the 100 block of King Street. Anyone can come down to see what the police do. What they don’t do is issue citations for any sort of violation. They could hand out traffic and noise violations or even disorderly conduct, but they don’t. If the media would actually show up on King Street at night and report what happens, the story wouldn’t be about gangsters out of control, it would be about the police not issuing citations for minor violations.

The difference between State and King is race. Many people are not afraid of the white college crowd, but there’s a stigma with black people. I’m not afraid of the black crowd. I’ve spent time around them. If you treat them like you’d like to be treated, you’ll be fine. If you are rude to them, they won’t be polite back, nor should they have to. Find me a drunk college student that won’t be rude back to you.

You hear a lot that people leaving the other clubs and bars on King Street are afraid of the crowd leaving Club Majestic, but there is no trend of the black crowd harassing or assaulting white people on King Street. White people expect them to do it, simply because they’re black, but it doesn’t happen. But even though there is no real problem with it, Nick Schiavo has responded to it. Come down to King Street. You’ll often see Club Majestic close earlier than 2 a.m. and security is trying to get the crowd disbursed before the crowds from other clubs and bars are on the street. Closing early takes away money he could be making, but he’s willing to take the hit in order to help make the other people on King Street more comfortable. He shouldn’t have to do this, but he does.

But please don’t judge the situation solely from what you see on TV or read in papers or on the internet. Come down the King Street. See things with your own eyes.

Muslims the world over are upset about the Danish cartoons. They demand that the rest of the world respect their religion, specifically their belief that Muhammad should not be depicted. It’s interesting how they selectively respect that rule. According to their beliefs it is wrong to depict any creation of God, not just Muhammad. That means no drawings, paintings, pictures or sculptures of people, plants or animals. It they really believed in that rule as deeply as they claim, they’d burn Al Jazeera to the ground.

But why should others respect Islam when they do not reciprocate. In many Muslim countries, it is against the law to not be Muslim. Under their laws, you can be legally murdered for wearing a Christian cross. Which is odd since Islam considers Jesus to be a prophet and the Koran instructs them to be tolerant of Jews and Christians because they share many of the same prophets and beliefs. Of course Islam has long since been perverted by fundamentalists that don’t care what the Koran says, but rather what they can tell others it says, so the actual teachings have little meaning.

I try to be tolerant of other beliefs, but it’s getting more difficult to tolerate Islam. That’s not to say I think all Muslims are bad or that I’ll start being rude to every Muslim I meet, but I’m done listening to their excuses. They can’t tell me Islam teaches peace. Actions speak louder than words. It may be a minority of Muslims that use their religion as an excuse to destroy and murder, but the majority is far to silent about the evils carried out in the name of Islam.

So what should Muslims do? They need to first respect others and be tolerant of other beliefs. They can’t judge others based upon the laws of their religion and they need to accept that others have a right to freely express their thoughts and ideas. They also need to very loudly and publicly speak out against Jihad or any acts of violence in the name of Islam.

Do I believe Muslims will do these things? No. History and current events have taught me that Islam is a religion of intolerance and oppression and I have nothing but poor expectations of them.